Just one more dimension please
We often feel that its not possible to
solve a specific issue, while in reality it often is possible.
I’m not trying to convince you that we are pessimistic for no good reason (we are sometimes pessimistic and there is a lot of personal/family/collective troubled history to actually support that approach (:).
However, more often than not, what makes us feel there is no solution to a situation is that we are looking for a
solution from a too-small number of dimensions.
The maze as a metaphor
Someone who tries to solve a maze from a 2-dimensional perspective, at the floor level,
doesn’t know what is the best route and can’t even tell for sure that there is an exit on the other side.
This makes getting lost and falling into despair very easy indeed.
If that person could add the 3rd dimension, it would be possible to see the entire maze from above, quickly realizing the solution is present and simple. Something that can be done in a few seconds.
Coming back from “Dungeons and Dragons” into the real world,
When we fail to change a pattern, solve a situation, choose a more beneficiary behavior, feel better… more often than not, its because we are missing a dimension (or more).
Some concrete examples:
- When I’m trying to stop being so angry with my children/partner but can’t stop because the source of the anger is in my childhood, with my connection & attachment with my parents – My childhood is the missing dimension.
- When I walk through life feeling disconnected,empty, that something is missing, and no emotional therapy (even one that addresses childhood issues) seems to help – It’s very likely that missing dimension is inter-generational.
I may be unconsciously missing, for example, the brother of my grandfather who died in the war.
Only when I will include the inter-generational transfer of trauma dimension will I find relief.
- When I’m really triggered by someone in my life and I can’t seem to change how I feel about them, I need to turn around and look at my own Shadow, make peace with it and integrate with it.
I must add the Shadow of myself dimension in order to accept others as they are.
- When I’m trying to solve some skin problem and work intensively with my childhood issues and my family traumas but it doesn’t help, it may be that the missing dimension is very much about the very “here and now” issue of my food allergies and my diet (and yes, allergies may be connected with trauma, but still).
- When my partner and myself fight not like the unique people we are, but just like so many other couples, and even couple therapy doesn’t seem to help, there is a good chance that the missing dimension is “The Gender War” archetype. When we acknowledge it, we are released from its claws.
Family and Systemic Constellations are adding dimensions of solutions.
One of the reasons that Family Constellations are such a powerful healing modality, is that it has an
extraordinary ability to add dimensions to our process of healing.
Constellations take us into the inter-generational, the childhood, the
collective, the soul, the spirit, the body, the pre&peri natal and many
This is only one aspect of why so many people, myself included, find this work so fascinating, and offering such a huge healing and re-connection potential.